The Latest Thing Tiny and Monica Have In Common...

Within about 60 days, these two were able to receive the newest vehicle out of the Porsche family. Monica's came from her cousin, Polow Da Don, record producer and Tiny's came from T.I. and because it's truth, not here say, that's why Bernie's posting it.

They both have the Porsche Panamera, which is a four door premium midsize luxury car.

The MSRP for each model goes as follows, The Panamera S starts at $89,800, The Panamera 4S starts at $93,800, and The Panamera Turbo starts at $132,600.

Because I heard numbers for both, I believe that they have two different models. Monica's is in the ballpark of $110,000 (Panamera 4S), while Tiny's is in a different ballpark of $150,000 (Panamera Turbo).

I'll do the specs of the Panamera 4S and the Panamera Turbo.

Let's start with the 4S:

(Photo from Monica's Twitter)

4.4L V8 Engine with 400 horsepower with All Wheel Drive
Wheelbase is 115 inches, the car comes with 18 inch wheels, but Monica is bumping hers up to 22 inches
Length of the vehicle is 196 inches (Is it me, or is it very long. It's like an SUV, but it's not. A little smaller than Monica's previous vehicle, the R-Class Mercedes)
Height is 55.8 inches with the Width being 76 inches.
0-60: 4.8 Seconds with the top speed being 175 mph

(Photo from Monica's Twitter)

Now, Tiny's Panamera Turbo is a little different. I kind of figured that she would have the Turbo for that all their vehicles seem to have heavy engines.

Tiny has a Navy Blue one, but obviously this isn't it. I wasn't a fan of the photos that were out there, that's why I'm not posting them.

The Panamera Turbo's Specs has everything that the 4S has, but...

4.8L V8 Engine with 500 horsepower with All Wheel Drive
Wheelbase is still 115 inches, but the car comes with 19 inch wheels, and I'm sure that Tiny will not keep it stock.
Length, Height, and Width is still the same.
0-60 on the other hand is 4.0 seconds with the top speed being 188 mph.



It's okay on gas: 16 city and 24 on the highway. You gotta post about the gas because after that one summer (2008) when Atlanta had the gas shortage. Spending $5 a gallon after driving about 20 miles just to get gas is not fun.

I don't know what upgrades each of them have, so that's why I was working with the exterior and the engine specs.

I do remember when the pilot of Monica's Show, Still Standing, was on TV and there was one scene where she had to get some sneakers to Rocko and there was traffic. Monica did the unthinkable and drove on the sidewalk in a Mercedes S550 in Atlanta. Maybe it's good that she didn't get the Turbo one. I'm still looking for the video online.

Either way, I will be reaching out to both for interviews about the vehicles and original photography by me...

Recapping 2010 King of Kingz Easter Car Show

Instead of spending Easter like most people, I decided to haul the Envoy down 75 to Valdosta for the annual King of Kingz Easter Car Show. This was my first time going to Valdosta and I like going to places I’ve never been to before. The worst part of the show was the HEAT. I’m not built for hot weather and being sweaty.

I love to see the different creativity of a different area. I lived in Atlanta for almost three years, so I know the creativity there. I tragically lived in Savannah for 4.5 years and seen the “creativity” there. I’m hard on Savannah, because I lived there and you deserve it. So when you go to a different area, it’s fun, cause you get to see their style.

Now at this car show, I saw two vehicles that made my eyes twinkle. Two cars that I would never drive, but I loved what they did to their cars, they didn’t hold anything back, so I’m giving them each their own post.

But I’m gonna tear the cars apart right now…



The one thing that I noticed and I wanted to scream was the sloppiness of some of the vehicles. I shouldn’t see glue or frayed fabric. Example, this Box Chevy with the Dior fabric. Still had the Dub tires, custom interior and paint job, speakers in the oddest places… But look at this photo:



LOOK AT THE FRAYED FABRIC!!! All you’se need is a pair of scissors to clean it up.




I would have counted this vehicle in my top two, but they could have taken it off of the trailer/tow thingy. If I can drive from Atlanta to Valdosta, alone, and in the heat, surely you can put the car on the ground. I loved how the doors did a 290. (If the doors did a 360, then it would have went in a complete circle), 8 speakers in one door, custom paint job, still loving those Dub Wheels, TVs where the dashboard would be, and more speakers than I have fingers and toes.




I loved this Box Chevy with the shade of Blue, the cartoon doggies painted on it, how they rebelled and didn’t use Dub Wheels. But my love died when I saw the interior.



I should have done some close-ups with the dried glue around the speakers. I would have suggested an episode of Unique Whips or any customizing show for them to know that you don’t use glue, you use a staple gun so it’ll last.

There were some cars that should have been in the show, and not in the parking lot, like these three, but what can you do.





I had fun at the King Of Kingz Car Show, and I will be back in 2011. But for more photos, head to 2010 King of Kingz Car Show Gallery

Who Would Have Thunk That There’s An Art To Doing Donuts.

Please note that this is a super long post...

I’m sure that we’ve seen someone do donuts before in a vehicle. My first time riding in a car with someone doing donuts was with my Mom and she did donuts in the North Babylon Library Parking Lot in an 86 Chevy Chevette. The only purpose of doing donuts is to show off, but it looks pretty in photos.

According to Yahoo Answers, the correct way to do a donut varies between if your vehicle is a FWD or a RWD.

“The trick to making a doughnut happen is to quickly start oversteering but not so much that you just do a sudden 180-degree spin and stop. The most common method using a manual transmission is to select 1st gear, slowly start driving around in a large circle, then turn the steering wheel to do a tighter circle while at the same time pressing the clutch and pulling the hand brake. When the rear wheels lock up and the car starts to skid, floor the accelerator, release the hand brake and let the clutch out. You will now start spinning if your car has enough power. It takes practice trying to balance the throttle to produce a round enough doughnut with the rear wheels while keeping the inside front wheel at roughly the same place. With an automatic, you should first shift into 2 (or L or whatever it's called in your car - the idea is to choose the gear used to climb hills, so you get the most torque). You then apply moderate pressure on the brake pedal with your left foot, and then floor the throttle completely with your right foot. The rear wheels should now start spinning while the locked front wheels hold the car in one place. If the wheels don't start spinning, back off the brake pedal a little bit. As your rear wheels start spinning, slowly get off the brake pedal until the car starts moving. Start to turn the wheel and release the brake pedal more, and as you speed up, turn the wheel more sharply and take most of the pressure off the brake pedal. The car will jump forward and turn sharply, and the rear will be moving sideways. If you start to slow down, apply the brakes lightly, and back off the brakes as you start to spin faster. Once you are spinning real fast, you can even flick the wheel the other way to start spinning in the opposite direction. If you cannot start a spin at all, then your car is too weak for this sort of thing. A last ditch attempt may be to clamp your car's brake lines that lead to the rear wheels, thereby somewhat disabling your rear brakes, and there are also devices called line locks which do this, but if you have no idea about car mechanicals, just give up and buy a new car."

"Now for front-wheel-drive doughnuts. These reverse doughnuts look even more crazy than rear-wheel-drive doughnuts. They are more easily performed with long-wheelbase cars like Maximas, Bonnevilles or Accords. To start the doughnut, turn the steering wheel completely in one direction and shift into reverse. Then, if you are using a manual, press the clutch, floor the accelerator and drop the clutch. The car will lurch backwards and turn for a while before the front wheels lose grip and start to slide. The front will now rotate tightly around the back wheels. Back off the throttle a bit so that you don't hit the redline. The car will slow down when you back off, so then you will have to hold the throttle at a constant position. You can even turn the wheel quicky all the way in the other direction, to make the car slide around the other way. Please be aware that these reverse doughnuts generate huge lateral G's, so if you have a weak stomach, carry a barf bag in the car. Now, to attempt straightforward rwd-style doughnuts with your front-driver, you can use the handbrake. It is very hard to break rear-wheel traction on a dry surface, so a slippery surface is recommended. To do this, turn the steering wheel complelty in one direction and shift into first gear in manual or the hill-climbing gear in automatic. Floor the throttle, and the car will start turning sharply. As the car body rolls to one side, yank the handbrake to get the rear-wheel slide started. Now you will have to keep one hand on the handbrake and keep pulling and releasing it at the right moments to keep the rear end sliding. The power should be kept up but you should be careful not to over-rev your engine in first gear. As stated before, you need to do this on a slippery surface, like a wet parking lot or gravel. On grass or dirt, you can even leave the handbrake up and keep spinning. A popular trick to do doughnuts on tarmac is to put plastic trays or wooden planks under the rear tires and keep the handbrake up."

"If you have an all-wheel-drive car, you can pretty much forget about doing doughnuts. The only ones capable of aggressive doughnuts are the heavy-hitting Lancer Evo, Skyline GT-R and Impreza WRX STi. Others like the basic Impreza and Legacy can be fooled around with on a slippery surface. Most other upscale AWD cars either don't have the power or are set up all wrong. While the Evo and all have more power sent to the rear wheels, cars like the AWD Passat W8 send most of the power to the front wheels, and send some power to the rear only when loss of traction is detected. Anyway, if you have a rear-biased AWD car, the technique is basically the same as that for RWD cars, except that you have to play with much higher rpms to break all four wheels loose.”

The person who answered this gave a great answer. And that my friends is how you do a donut. For best results, turn off the a/c and turn off traction control or any other electronic gimmicks if you can, as traction control kills wheel spin.

The downfalls of doing donuts: it is costly on tires, and is stressful on differentials and engines. Reverse doughnuts are even worse, especially on universal joints. And doughnuts can also mess up your wheel alignment.

Please note that if you’se do try this, and it doesn’t go as planned, don’t blame me. I may be adventurous while driving, but I know not to try it in an Envoy.

Window Tint Laws...

Every state has different laws, the lower the tint number, the darker the tint is. So of course, 15% is practically black. But some states are evil, yeah I said it, EVIL enough to come up with tint laws.

States like New Jersey, New Hampshire, Delaware, Rhode Island, California, New York (You’re breaking my heart), North Dakota, etc, you can have between 70% and 100% tint on your front driver’s side and passenger side windows, which is basically NOTHING.

States like Georgia, Nevada, Indiana, Florida, Connecticut, Tennessee, etc are more forgiving and allow darker tint on your front windows within the ballpark of 30%.

Of course those of a higher stature, can have every window in their vehicle with 15% tint. For example, T.I.’s blacked out Mercedes S550. Even his front windshield, is pitch black. Jealous… of the fact he can do that, not of the fact that he has a Mercedes S550.

Here’s the thing. Some people need window tint, like Bernie. I’ve had 35% tint put on Betsey (’94 Corolla) and I was stopped because of it. Savannah Police Department tried to give me a ticket because “at glance” it looked darker than 35%. I told them to pull out that machine and test it, and it came up as 35%. Needless to say, they still had the last laugh because I didn’t get a ticket because of my tint, but I got one for doing 50 in a 35.

After three years, I still didn’t get around to adding the tint to the Envoy, but I NEED to. If you understand the English language, you know the difference between need and want. Window tint has two purposes: To keep excessive sun out and to give you privacy. In my Corolla and in my Envoy, I’ve been followed... and not by cops. Guys fail to think that if you follow someone for miles, you think that you’ll get a girl’s phone number. WRONG!!! No, that makes me drive to the police station and have them deal with you. If you look hard enough, you can see through 35% tint. So for security purposes, I need some window tint… and a gun.

The things I go through…

Bernie's Test Drive: 2009 Smart Brabus Coupe and Cabriolet

I was invited to the Smart Car Dealership in Buckhead to burn rubber in a Smart Car… or two.


(Best place to do a photo shoot in New York, in Dumbo, Brooklyn)

I’m gonna talk specs first, then I’ll tell you’se about my test drive.

Height and Width is 5.1 feet, and the length 8.8 feet.
One liter, three Cylinder engine with 70 horsepower. 70!!!!!!!! (I get almost 4 times that)
Gas Mileage- 33 City, 41+ highway (with three cylinders and no horsepower, you would get great mileage)
Top Speed- 90 mph (I drive that on GA 400)
0-60- 12.8 seconds
The 15 inch rims are standard.



Before I jumped into them, at the dealership, they tell you about them like the safety ratings, etc. There’s 2.5 cars in the show room, the half is the metal shell where they show you how safe the car is. The shell of the car is made of steel, the other parts (i.e. doors, etc) are made of plastic. I’m getting to that. They have a “Sandwich Construction” on the front and back of the vehicle, which are three pieces of steel in the front and the rear of the vehicles. The purpose of those is that when you have a high impact accident, it somewhat reduces the damage. My Mom’s Mercury Villager could have used some Sandwich Construction. Anyway, the vehicle has four airbags: 2 front full-sized airbags and two side airbags.



Time for me to jump in. I test drove the two most expensive models: The Smart fortwo Brabus coupe and the Smart fortwo Brabus Cabriolet (convertible). The Coupe had what every normal car has, plus panoramic roof, and something a little different. All Smart vehicles don’t have either an automatic transmission or a manual transmission, no they decided to combine the two. You can shift to automatic or manual and it comes standard in all the vehicles. Even if you drive in automatic, it still feels like manual because when you accelerate, it shifts. When you drive at “10 and 2” (the last time I did that was in driver’s ed… back on Long Island), you have to be careful cause you can easily knock it into manual. But if you are a manual-ista, they dumbed it down for you because the car will tell you what gear to shift it in. you don’t have to listen for anything, just look at the dashboard. Alas, I don’t do manual.

The Cabriolet was the same as the coupe, the only difference was that you don’t have to be in the car to take off the soft top, just hold down the button on the key. There’s removable roof parts, storage compartment for whatever you take off the car, and the radio has a 6 disc changer, instead of the single disc changer that the coupe has.

What I didn’t like: The fact that there’s no such thing as the vehicle being 100% automatic is a PROBLEM. Okay, I DRIVE… That’s obvious because my 2003 Envoy has a 160,700 miles (as of April 7th), he’s been from New York down to Florida, back and forth from Atlanta to Savannah, has ventured into Louisville and I’m going to Memphis in a week and a half. The Smart Car would not be a smart car to drive in New York and certain parts of Atlanta because it takes too long for it to get up and go, even in Automatic. I also didn’t like the lack of trunk space. Not only do I drive, but I shop as well as carry photography equipment.

These people didn't know any better, and who knows how many people cursed them out.

Don’t get me wrong, the Smart Car is a fun car… It’s actually the easiest car to customize, and here’s why. The frame of the vehicle may be made of steel, but the doors, roof parts are made of plastic. Very interchangeable, so you can have several different color combinations to it. And also, because of the technical aspects of the vehicle, you only have to get your oil changed once a year….

Honestly, I think the Smart Car will make a hot golf cart, especially in Catalina, California where there’s only golf carts and about 3 cars.

Sorry for the long post, but you know…